I've come to the conclusion that death never gets easier to deal with. It feels like just yesterday my Nana passed away and yesterday I lost my Grandpa. I don't remember what it's called but basically it was a scarring of the lungs that prevented him from getting enough oxygen. He was on 24/7 oxygen and then started to become confused easily and got exhausted very fast.
When I went home for my family reunion in July, he didn't know who I was when I first said Hi to him. That was so hard. I believe he is in a better place now. He passed at home, surrounded by his family and all of their love. Everyone is doing as well as can be expected. It wasn't sudden so I think it was easier for everyone to come to terms with it.
I feel like an asshole for being three thousand miles away. I also wanted to keep on floating on denial (my favorite river) and just thinking that he was going to get better. My optimism failed me. I'll be going home for the services next week. It's going to be tough.
Sorry for being a downer.
xox
Me